Tharja cool
by XxSUDOxWOODOxX
Summary: I cant remember what I called this


It was an ordinary day in the Sheppard's camp. The team had just got back from "da warz" and everyone was relaxing and supporting with people and little Cs and Bs where appearing above everyone's heads because support ranks are important. Robin looked across at his people, and thought that it was good. "Yes. Everyone will now attack more often and shit because they said some sentences to each other". Chrom was sitting with Robin, his gaze hovering over the women of the camp. "Come chapter 11 I will claim one of these wenches as my own, they will have no say, I will just take one. I am the PRINCE". He raised his hands in the air and pointed down towards his male subjects. "You better get supporting these hoes quick, before I give them the dick".

Chrom then turned to Robin. "Because where BFFs though, you can chose one before me. Bros before hoes after all". Robin looked back at the females, and started to think. "Hmm...I dunno man. Its tough". Chrom patted his friend on the shoulder. "Dont worry man, I hear all these want some of that tactician schlong, there calling it the "Throbbin Robin" I hear". Robin leant back. "I dunno man, im just waiting for the right chick I guess".

Robin walked back to his room, closed the door and jumped on his bed, expecting a comfy fall. However, instead, he landed on something..lumpy?

"What the FUCK robin"

Robin quickly pulled back to covers, a sparsely dressed woman, was laying, flattened under the covers. "What are you doing in my bed?!" Robin yelled at the intruder. The woman adjusted herself, and quickly stood up, she quickly threw some sort of dust at robin, to slow to react, robin was hit in the face by the dust, and he felt himself go limp. He fell to the floor. Terrified, he looked round his room, unable to move. He saw the crazed woman enter his view, her eyes where like saucepans. "Time to show me why they call you the "Throbbin Robin boyo"

The mad woman threw robin back onto the bed, and jumped onto him. She brought her face uncomfortably close to Robins. "do you like darkness" she whispered into his face, still staring with massive eyes and a crazed grin. Robin was half shitting himselfs and half wishing he was able to move, this bitch was hot furr days.

The woman moved down to robins lower half, robin felt himself get hotter, "Dont worry if your not packing by the way, I have curses and spells for that". Robin was burning up, tharjas hands moved ever closer to his family jewel's, robin was now on fire, mostly with curiosity to what darkness awaits his Special Levin sword. "The names Tharja, by the way". She moved her hand, and was now m-

"STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM"

Frederick burst through the floor, in full Armour, on a dragon. YOU VIOLATED THE LAW. Freddy pulled out a lengthy scroll, tharja and robin both froze, staring in bewilderment at the man. "It says here that you need to be at at least support level S to have any sort of sexual, intimate intercourse. YOU TWO AREN'T EVEN LEVEL C"

Tharja moved her hands away from Robin. Robin tried to protest, but couldn't. "Listen here CUNT, First of all. There RANKS. Not Levels. Theres a difference you absolute wank stain, Letters are not numbers. SECOND OF ALL. This is not intercourse, this is a rape. I would really appreciate it if you could leave".

Frederick wiped away his tears and stammered "b-but rape is illegals". Tharja laughed. "So is MURDER" Tharja launched some magic voodo shit at freddy, freddy dodged just in time, but the bolt continued traveling, then a shriek was heard in the distance.

"Woops"

Frederick rushed over to the newly created corpse. "No...Not..CORDELIA"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO"

**SOME TIME LATER**

Frederick, Robin and Tharja where awaiting Chrom. Ready to tell him the sad news. Robin was still recovering from the hex, but was eager for more of the T-Hazza, he wore a bigger coat to hide his raging erection. He awoke her at dawn and spoke to her constantly in a vain attempt at getting her support up, she was desperately trying to do the same to him. They had taken to occasionally throwing spells at Frederick to try and build it up, but to no avail.

Chrom appeared, and saw the sad face of freddy. "Whats up Sponge boy? Your not useless quite yet, its still early game mate". Frederick wiped away his tears "Its cordelia sir.."

"Who"

"C-cordelia! S-she loved you sir?"

"Everyone loves me, im the prince"

"D-did you not support her at all?"

"I dont see no Congrelio on my support list im afraid"

"Its C-Cordelia sir.."

Fredderick ran away crying. Chrom then laid his eyes on the other two. "Finally found a chick eh Row Bine?

"Yeshs shhh trid to rap me"

Robins tongue still hadn't recovered properly from the hex.

"What the fuck are you doing robin jesus man get your shit together. Anyway, I have decided to claim my wench today. That one looks good"

He pointed over to sumia, and she was instantly dragged towards his arms. "Whats your name babe?" "S-Sumi-"

Chrom cut her short, and stuffed a C-B-A and S down her throat, and then threw a ring at her face. "YOUR MY WIFE NOW DAVE". Chrom ran off into the sunset with his new wife.

Robin looked down at chroms desk, and saw several support letters. Suddenly a brain wave hit him. "He FFaarcha, why do-"

As he turned around, tharja stuffed at least 8 support letters down robins throat. "LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME, ALL THESE LETTERS AND I STILL WANT THE D"

Robin was literally choking on affection, but the supports seemed to power him up. He had gained support level SSSstylish. He grabbed tharja, looked her dead in the eye and whispered "Why yes, I think I am a fan of this "darkness" stuff after all".

**END**

Yoshi died


End file.
